Wisconsin, You Sly Fox

Tonight the teenagers at our church were having an activity and playing Pictionary. I watched as some of them couldn't figure out how in the world they were going to draw their word (e.g. "business" -- how in the heck do you get somebody to guess that?). Watching them I remembered playing the game at a Leadership Retreat the summer before my senior year of high school. I was given the word: "Wisconsin" and after creating a pathetic outline of the United States I suddenly realized that I didn't really know where Wisconsin was??? In the space of a few seconds I a) developed a strong dislike for the allusive state, b) started to sweat profusely, and c) kind of made a vague sweeping circle that caused my teammates to call out, "Montana" and "Wyoming." Future Leader material. Snap.  

My kids already have a better idea of where Wisconsin is then I did as a 17-year old because of a very simple decorating decision -- we have a tattered cheap-o map taped to the wall under the counter where they eat breakfast every morning. Often when we are reading, or talking about a trip, or watching a movie the kids will go and reference the torn, food-splattered map. Having it immediately accessible is the key to its usefulness. It's not aesthetically appealing, but it looks better than a kid standing in front of a chalk board puzzling over where an entire state disappeared to -- because its whereabouts are not surfacing in his/her brain. 

The kids have also have been working with a puzzle of the states.

This year we are going to make sure that our understanding of state locations is secure, as well as what the capitals and major cities are in each state. We will then move on to conquer the rest of the world. 

Awesome (Adj.) Service (Noun)

Again with a birthday.  Today The Dad turned... something (note: the skeleton made it into the decorating scheme because he's part of the family, which is why he got his own party hat, he's not there to represent old age).  Sadly we didn't get to spend too much of the day with the birthday boy because he is taking some days off next week for our annual pilgrimage to Acadia National Park in Maine.  The birthday was a part of the kiddos' day though as we incorporated some of the festivities-prep into "school."  

Adjectives: words that describe nouns.  This is a surprisingly difficult concept.  "Likes to sing" is a lovely way to describe one's dad, but it's not an adjective, so sadly it didn't make the wall (apparently we're kind of fascist around here when it comes to parts of speech... wow).  

Judd the Red Chicken came up with: "Good-tempered (most of the time)." It made me laugh... so then the kids started getting very silly and as usual, silly spiraled into scandalous.  They argued that "Naked" is in fact an adjective and so wrote: "Naked (newd nude) (most of the time)."  For the record, that's not true, but it certainly captures the children's ages, if not The Dad's.

The Dad is indeed: "Tall," as noted by his daughter... but the time and effort that went into this one also says that he's loved... 

Getting to spend two hours in the DMV on his birthday (which is fortunate because I'm so glad I was born is exactly the phrase that most people think while at the DMV), combined with a hectic work schedule limited his opportunity for racking up the acts of service. It needs to be said though: he certainly hits his quota throughout the year.

This morning Friend A came by with a beautiful birthday cake -- a service and gift for The Dad, and incidentally one for me, as the resident cake baker (or rather, boxed-cake-mix stirrer). The kids watched it come through the door and marveled. Many times, as we anticipated the celebration, it was said, "That was so nice of her to make a homemade cake!"  I pointed out that nobody asked her to do it, and she didn't ask if there was anything she could do... She just thought about it and did it. That is a valuable lesson to learn. If my students (and I, for that matter) took that lesson to heart today -- to look for ways to make people feel loved without waiting to be asked -- well, then I don't mind if we still need to work on adjectives. 

Happy birthday, Daddy-o (you tall, good-tempered (most of the time) guy)!

Essentials

Here's what is essential to have if you are going to home school for a year:

1. A teenager willing to do the dirty work (i.e. don a plastic garbage bag and rain boots for occupational protection and drop the Mentos into the Coke bottle... the upshot is that she looks like a superhero in this picture... appropriately so).

2. Kind friends with great families. Today the public school kids were out of school so we had ten million different play dates. Tonight we went to the home of one of The Girl's BFF's to join her family as they broke their fast for Yom Kippur (fun/kind/smart people, delicious and elegant food, and the sweetest dog in the whole world who immediately upon making eye-contact presents her belly... that willingness to be instantly trusting and vulnerable is a holy characteristic). 

Unfortunately, we had to eat and dash because as I bit into my cheese blintz souffle I realized that I had locked The Sister out of the apartment... and as mentioned, we need her... 

3. A child who reminds you of your commitment to embrace what is deep and meaningful. Walking home tonight I started nagging said small person for being ridiculously shy at the party. Said small person then replied very simply, "But I really am working hard on so many other things." 

With these things: awesome teenager, solid friends (with access to great pets), and children who remind me of our goals and ideals... We might just be able to pull off this gig.

Practical Tidbit

There are a lot of online options that support home schooling plans. I'd rather we spend our screen time watching YouTube clips of Lenny and the Squigtones, or the awesome video of the Jackson 5 with Carol Burnett. That is how The World Wide Web can enhance lives and expand awareness.  

There is a program that I've decided to use to help subsidize with our Math lessons. It's called IXL. We have to pay for it, but what I appreciate is that, yes, it has lessons per grade, but it also has a section called "Standards Alignment." These are lessons that are aligned with each of the 50 states and the Common Core (cue melancholy, with a touch of sinister, music).

The format is basically just drill, drill, drill until they get enough answers correct to "master the skill." Being a Master gives them the right to click on a star and a little picture of an animal or something materializes (!!!). I'm not saying that it's fun or creative. I just think that it's a practical, if small, part of the puzzle. 

Thanks

First of all, I want to thank those of you who have been reading this blog and sending me lovely emails and/or saying encouraging things when we meet. Today while talking to Friend A our conversation went to the goofiness of blogs and I suddenly felt weepy. True, we have all been fighting colds and and not getting enough sleep because of the cacophony of coughs (excellent alliteration execution), but mostly I think it's because I have found this whole blogging business to be surprisingly more. 

It's more work than I thought -- chucking something onto this screen at the end of a night when I'm exhausted; it's more personal than I thought -- how to express an idea without some bloodletting?; it's more embarrassing than I thought -- seeing mistakes -- either mechanically or substantively days after the fact... yipes...; it's more humbling than I thought -- I talked to somebody who has a "following" of tens of thousands a day... ummmm, yeah...I don't have that.  I didn't set out to have that (of course I say that -- it's like when that kid broke up with you in 7th grade and you were all: well, I didn't want to be going out anyway...).  I truly do see this as a journal for our family, a way to stay connected to a few friends, and maybe a way to share ideas with others who question what and how this generation of moppets can be learning...

And yet, in the spirit of full discloser, as stupid as it sounds (I've been blogging for a solid three weeks) there was a part of me that heard that (tens of thousands a day?!?), and thought: wow, I'm pathetic... I'm doing something chumpy and I'm not even a "successful" chump...

However, three people came through for me.  Friend A, my high school English teacher, and Mr. Rogers.

Friend A, seeing me crumble, said simply: "Don't stop."

Ms. G's card that she gave me on graduation night said to remember that more important than a best-selling novel will be the words that I write to my family and friends.

Mr. Rogers spoke to me through a video that I really should watch every morning before I open my mouth for the day...  

Today, after a hard day of blowing my chapped nose and destroying any confidence my kid might have had in his/her math skills (I'm pretty sure that I won the Biggest Biotch in the Building competition -- and we live in an enormous building -- eat that tens-of-thousands-a-day...), I knew that my family needed some healing. And so I turned to Fred Rogers.

If you haven't watched Mister Rogers & Me you need to get on it.  On the cover it says that it's "one man's story," referring to the director, Benjamin Wagner's meeting and subsequent exploration of Mr. Rogers and his ideals. That's been done in some books.  What the movie does is something cool -- it demonstrates how Wagner's talent (and the talent of his brother) -- talents that could be seen as incongruent with Rogers's message (using short clips and brief encounters to get across the message of slowing it down and being present) -- have a place. Each of us have talents that have a place.

In both writing and literature analysis classes we talk about how brilliant it is when the craft reflects the content.  So here is a movie that talks about a man, a teacher, who says: you are important and I like you just the way you are.  And then the movie itself shows not how the director started wearing cardigans and speaking v-e-r-y slowly, but how he used what he had to offer and built something good.  What he built is a depository for all these profound Mr. Rogers nuggets that a worn out and weepy stay-at-home home-schooling mom can watch in just over an hour, and ultimately feel like tomorrow is going to be a better brand new day.  And while there are things that I can/should improve, what I fundamentally have to offer is fundamentally good.

Just as important, I was reminded that my kids are valuable just the way they are.  Even if they don't know their place values.  Actually, because right now they don't give a rip about flipping place values. 

Apparently Mr. Rogers wanted to share with people the importance of finding and appreciating the deep and the simple in a world that is increasingly shallow and complex. I've committed to help with his mission. The next time somebody asks me what our "curriculum" is, I am going to say: "We are learning how to contribute something deep and simple in a world that is shallow and complex." When pushed for specifics, I will say that we are starting with gratitude.  If I am grateful that my spawn can see the numbers I'm writing, hear the questions I'm repeatedly asking, and smile at me even if they are frustrated, how much better are the lessons going to go?  

And so, if you're reading this: thank you for doing so.  Thank you for supporting me -- with the scheme, with the blog, with trying to be a better human.  It's a good feeling to know you're out there.  

A Happy Birthday

I'm struggling here to figure out if school happened today at all. The Girl did the donkey for a pin-the-tail game, and Judd the Red Chicken did the tails...So, I guess we did art.

Today is The Sister's birthday. We got up early to do a little birthday decorating, made some eggs, and went back down to the Lower East Side. The Sister tries to eat responsibly, so we realized that if she was ever going to experience Doughnut Plant bliss it would probably have to be on a special occasion, like her birthday. We figured that the eggs would act as a sufficient protein block (so, I guess the kids had a nutrition/health lesson), and we headed south. 

After partaking, we walked a couple of blocks to our favorite fish store (so, I guess they had a Biology lesson), and Judd the Red Chicken bought some new fish for his aquarium with some money that his Grandma gave him. He felt that today would be appropriate, not only because the fish store is so close to where one gains doughnut euphoria, but also because he wanted to name a fish after his aunt. If you ever want to see a bunch of cool aquarium fish and giggle over the fact that only in NYC would there be a store that sells both pet fish and bait you MUST go to Pacific Aquarium.  The people that work there are crazy-kind.  They will talk to my son and answer every question he has for a full twenty minutes even though they know he's only buying a three-dollar fish.  

This afternoon, after the fish all got to know each other, The Sister spent her day doing a family tradition that the kids started doing a couple of years ago.

Back up so I can give proper homage: we know a couple that are exactly what you want your kids to be when they grow up. They have a tradition that we copied. And it's actually because we copied it from them that I am sharing it now. I kind of think that service is usually best when it's secret service... but if this cute couple had kept their tradition a secret, we would never have learned of it... so here's to sharing good ideas in the spirit of promoting propagation, not for a pat on the back.  

Here's the tradition: on their birthdays I let them cut school to spend the day doing acts of kindness -- with the goal of doing as many as their new age.  The Sister was turning 17, so she had 17 services to do. She was a bit overwhelmed by it, so I told her it was her choice. The kids, however, rather obnoxiously insisted, so she agreed.  I think this was her final list:

1. Helped the neighbor set-up her new iPod dock/clock (she actually did this yesterday, but the kids thought she should count it, as they always try to include that neighbor in their days of service).
2. Held the elevator for a long time for a group of people (this is kind of a big deal in New York where people will look you straight in the face as you're rushing to make it, and lean over and push the "Door Close" button -- they will continue looking you in the eye as the door closes between the two of you).
3. Made the kids' beds beautifully (they told her that she was welcome to do this daily).
4. Swiped her Metro card in the subway station for a flustered lady whose card wasn't working.
5. Opened the door for an elderly gentleman.
6. Handed out flowers to people on the street.  Note: one lady was so taken by this she exchanged phone numbers with her because she wanted to introduce her to her son who's in his first year of college. Personally, I think the service cancels out if you get a boy's email address out of it, but as The Sister pointed out, she gave out other flowers, too.
7. Gave cookies to the doormen.
8. Bought a bag of groceries and gave it to a homeless lady.
9. Gave $3 to a homeless veteran.
10. Gave balloons to a couple of kids.
11. Took the kids to the park for a few minutes so my doughnut-induced headache could have a fighting chance to go away.
12. While at the park, picked up trash.
13. Helped clean up around here.
14. Helped a confused person in the elevator.
15. Returned some mail to the neighbor that was mistakenly put in our box. 
16. Wrote a letter to Mom.
17. Wrote a letter to a friend.  

There are some things to be learned from a day of service: 1. If you look for it, there are a lot of opportunities to help out 2. Most people are doing a lot of little kind acts everyday 3. When  you try to serve, some people are gracious and grateful, and others are suspicious and mean. The Sister shared how she felt when a woman was rude to her when she tried to give her a flower -- the kids jumped right in with their stories from the trenches. 

Sometimes the experience is beautiful -- like when The Boy gave a flower to a lady who started crying because it was her birthday, too, and nobody here knew because she was far from home, and she had been feeling sad. She asked him for his name and told him that every year on their birthday she would think of him. Gorgeous. 

Then there are those who must think that the kid is going to hand them the tulip and then demand ten bucks or something, so they throw up a hand or hunch their shoulders and say, "No!"... or just grunt. Whenever that happens I feel so badly for the kids. It actually takes some gumption to go up and offer, so when they're rebuffed it hurts -- kind of makes them feel icky, like they did something wrong. 

So, service -- you need to know how to give it and how to take it, right?

I guess I provided an act of service to the kids by not having them do any formal lessons today.  They certainly don't have a problem accepting service... Oh well, a favorite aunt only turns 17 once. We are so happy we got to spend the day with her. 

Settle In... It Was Field Trip Day... So It's Long...

I knew that it was going to be a blessed day when Dan Awesome-Hair Zanes got on the subway and sat a seat away from me. We got off at Grand; he stayed on.

Off at Grand and a quick cut through China Town where we inhaled all those fascinating China Town things... Two favorite moments: 1. An old woman crossing the street and defiantly shaking her cane at a van that cut too close, and 2. The decision of a jewelry store to decorate with a giant puffer fish -- because nothing says fine jewelry like a bloated, dead sea creature:

By the time we reached our destination we had already had a crackerjack day, and it was just barely 10am. Our destination today was Little Italy, where we wanted to check on the festivities for the Feast of San Gennaro.  

Usually I am all for nighttime activities. Disneyland, I say over and over... and over, is best at night. Take a swim during the day, hang out at the hotel, and then hit the park when the tacky is wrapped and softened by velvety darkness and everything twinkles. Perhaps this Italian street fair, too, is improved at night when the carnival rides are going and the sidewalk cafes are lit with flickering candles.  

But this morning had its own charm. The kind enhanced by the kinship that comes when you smile at somebody getting ready for the day. We experienced Mulberry Street with just a few other wanderers, and watched tray after tray of cannoli being brought out to the satellite stands.  

Our first stop was to get cannoli... Only everybody but me abandoned the cannoli ship when they saw the "cheesecake pops."  Therefore, the cannoli stop ended up being a cannolo stop (did you know that cannoli is plural? I did not until today).   

Next we went into my favorite kind of store. It had a sign that said it was the oldest gift shop in Little Italy, but friends, gift shop does not bring the proper picture to mind. It was crrrraaaaammed with statues of saints, egg cups, Jesus magnets, plastic dolls, maps, kitchen timers, sink strainers,  etc. etc. etc. And everything was coseying up to everything else with a nice fine dust on top and stacks and stacks of papers and boxes underneath. There is something deep within me that forces me to buy something from such places (which freaks out my husband -- it's a fine line between British-library-esque clutter and being a participant on Hoarders). But he was at work, so I settled on a poster of Mulberry Street taken in 1900. I saw a faded version hanging up, and when I told the aged proprietor that I would like a print he knew exactly what random box in the middle of the store to go to (under a stack of papers and another random box) to retrieve it. I thought that I could not be happier, but then he went to the antique register on the counter and used it.  

Had I been thinking clearly I would have lit a candle for that shop. It hurts to acknowledge that such shops are going the way of the Dodo Bird.  

Because The Sister had done her research we knew exactly where to find The Church of the Most Precious Blood. Outside in the back they were selling icons/relics, so we picked out Saint Gennaro charms for $1/each.  The gold ones are prettiest... 

But the silver one (which was $4) has THIS on the back:

Does a Third Class Relic entitle me to Third Class Blessings? I'm 100% okay with that -- I'm very content with my life, so just the tiniest of nudges... We found out that had we purchased a statue we could have asked for the priest to put a special blessing on it. The Girl got a little medal/tag with St. Francis of Assisi on it for her stuffed animal dog... Except when we got home and took off the price sticker we saw that it says, "Bless This Cat." She is sure that her dog would not approve, so we found a chain and she's going to wear it as a necklace.  

The inside of the church is lovely in the way that flickering candles in large colonies waiting to be lit and clumps of artificial flowers and bright paint and a small waterfall and perfectly round halos and old wood and an enormous original bronze Michael Angelo statue of Moses (until I read the banner I thought it looked like King Neptune... but to my credit knew that wasn't accurate) and stained glass and enormous bright gold candlesticks and rotating portable fans always is. I could have stayed for a long time. The kids took out their clipboards and wrote down details that they noticed. I hope they wrote down the people praying. The cannoli and pasta are great, but I also want them to savor the feelings and beliefs.  

After a lunch of pasta we found the church on the opposite end of Mulberry, St. Patrick's Old Cathedral.  This one is not as cheerful, but is mellow and lovely.  The kids wrote a list of observations.  They will be comparing and contrasting for an upcoming writing assignment.  

The one thing that we missed out on by not going in the evening was being able to go into the Italian American Museum -- which is showing a film on the feast every evening at 6:30pm  through the 23rd.  During the rest of the year it is open only on weekends, so it will be a good reason to head back to Mulberry Street (we can show The Dad our favorite sights).  Today we enjoyed looking at the displays in the window.  There used to be a Queen of the Feast, this is from 1930:

As if our day hadn't delivered enough bounty we were introduced to one more sweet thing.  Right off of Mulberry, on Broome, there is an awesome, awesome find.  It's called Papabubble and they make hard candies.  They start with a huge mass and create the design and then stretch and stretch and stretch until they end up with really skinny little tubes that they cut into pieces and let harden.  What they end up with are these gorgeous little candies that showcase tiny flowers or fruits or spooky creatures (we bought the Monster Mix) on the flat edge. It's one of those places where the packaging makes you feel happy.  

We came home happy.  We are tired and all nursing colds, but like Judd the Red Chicken said right before making some stilts out of Costco nut containers, "It's good to remember that good places are so close."  

I put the poster on our front door -- like a window into Old New York; a reminder of that shop.  I want to remember to enjoy the city every day we leave our apartment, because it is a good place, and it doesn't hold still for long.  

Giorno Benedetto!