The spawn have been sparkling about my birthday for the past couple of weeks. They have a like-minded partner, as their auntie has been a party planner since she sprang from the womb.
I woke up to lovely decorations, flowers plentifully about, gorgeous handmade party hats, and feathers hanging, suspended from strings.
As mentioned in other posts (here and here), the kids have had a tradition of skipping school and doing the amount of services/random acts of kindness that corresponds with the age that they are turning. I've never partaken of the tradition on my birthdays -- the kids would be at school, The Dad would be at work, so it seemed kind of weird to hit it solo. And let's be honest, being as I'm slighter older than 20, that would be a lot of serving. When you only serve for the sake of looking awesome on your blog/telling your friends about it, you really don't need to be such an over-achiever -- the goal is to keep it minimal -- just enough to snap the picture.
The kids were having none of my distracting/smart-alec responses -- this year I was doing ___ amount of services. This morning they had a list of ideas printed out, a form for me to fill in the services as I accomplished them, AND The Sister had gone out on her own time, with her own money and bought all the supplies that I would need: food for a homeless person, cookies to give to the doormen, a bunch of flowers to pass out, plastic gloves to wear while picking up trash, a baggy of quarters to buy food at the petting zoo, etc... She and The Girl had even prepared cute little bags of candy for the neighbors. All I had to do was run out in my pjs and put the bags in front of everybody's door for a good-morning-surprise.
While I was expected to serve, I was clearly the recipient of much service throughout the day. The Dad got up early to appease the party-planners' checklist of getting me doughnuts.
The Boy set up chairs in the bathroom and put my laptop on the toilet to have movie-time (random YouTube clips). Family and friends called, emailed, texted, dropped off sweet cards, treats, gifts. I felt loved. It was only right that I do some service.
Let me say this about the passing out flowers thing: you feel like a loser. But when it works, the angels sing.
"Hello, can I give you a flower?" Is pretty much the equivalent of: "Hi. I'm some kind of kook from a cult and I would like to ensnare you by handing you this flower."
At one point I saw these two darling college-aged foreign-tourist-types walking towards us in the park, and I stopped them and said: "Okay. You have to help me out. We are doing a day of service and my kids are making me pass out these flowers. Will you please take some, because I feel like a total idiot?" They were sweet and took some off my hands.
There was also a cute nanny that tried to hug me, but it was one of those things that by the time I figured out what was going on and went to reciprocate the hug she had already started to pull back because I had been slow to reciprocate... But by and large, I was exasperated with the whole flower-thing by the time we got to the zoo (I don't like rejection, and quite a few people say, "No, thank you," or just grunt...), and I still had a small bundle in my bag. The kids were like: see, it's not so easy is it?
The lady in the booth when we showed our pass was really cute. We chatted about how it was way too cold to be sitting in that booth... And that if ding-dongs like us didn't come to the zoo when it was way too cold she wouldn't have to... On our way out I leaned over and asked The Boy, "Do you think she would like to have the rest of the flowers in that booth with her?" He was absolutely sure that that needed to happen. However, by the time we got to the booth a swarm of people arrived and they were all fumbling around for their tickets, etc. We waited for the crowd to clear, and then another crowd came. I was cold and now felt stupid for having stood around -- handing them off the cuff while we breezed by was one thing, but lurking around and making a production out of it is something altogether different. However, the kids were not giving up on this idea. Finally, the coast was clear:
"We have these flowers with us and my kids are sure that you need to have them with you in the booth since you have to sit out here in the cold."
You would have thought that woman won the lottery. Her hands flew up and before I knew it she had given each kid a big bear hug and God-blessed them. It made me tear up. You have a moment like that and all of a sudden that flower-passing-out-business seems like the most freakin' brilliant activity in the world.
While at the zoo we bought the animal food pellets and gave some to the little kid that was hanging out -- he was stoked and totally brave. We also "served" the goats and sheep by feeding them (guess which child put this idea on the service list?). Full disclosure: my kids did this act of service for me -- I don't like the gooey lips fumbling all over my hand.
Walking back we picked up trash and left chalk notes:
The Sister's
The Girl's ("Don't liter")
The Boy's ("Toot at the back of the line")
Obviously I did "a few" other acts of service (manicures for the girls, "a chat while drinking a sarsaparilla" with the boy, etc.). But back to things I received...
Before my beautiful/tasty/interesting cake from Momofuku was picked up, the kids played a practical joke on me with a "cake" that The Sister made... Spam with mashed potatoes frosting (with vanilla and sugar to mask the potato smell). We have an ongoing fascination with Spam.
Our dear friend/neighbor/piano teacher/musician invited us to a "once in a lifetime experience" -- a lecture/concert by Dr. Walter Hilse exploring Buxtehude and Bach. Up until today I had no concept of what the organ was or what it did. If asked, I would have said that it was similar to the piano, but required air pumping through it. I would not have been able to say specifically that unlike the piano, it is not percussion instrument, but rather a wind instrument. I didn't realize that that's an additional keyboard that is being played with the feet. It actually is a complicated system of levers and pulleys. It's an entire world that I didn't know existed.
I also didn't know that chances are very good that Bach would have remained a decent, but not brilliant composer if not for his decision to go and meet Buxtehude. Upon his return home he began to write the imaginative and genius work that we value. To think of how just a few months can completely open up somebody's mind and push them closer to their full potential.
I was also ignorant that St. Michael's Episcopal church is home to one of the finest organs for playing Baroque music, AND "one of the largest collections of Tiffany glass and decorations to remain in its original setting." We had the good fortune to be allowed up to the organ loft -- to be within speaking distance of Dr. Hilse, and have a perfect view of all that Tiffany beauty. Apparently Tiffany had a social connection to the church. Connections can be a wonderful thing.
I had additional education gifted to me. While at the zoo we went into the Tropical Zone and befriended an educator. She walked with us for a while and answered a million different questions about the birds, about the habitat, about the workings of the zoo. We have been going to that zoo for almost 8 years and I have never learned so much. When I mentioned that, she confirmed the obvious: we were there during a slow time -- everybody else was in school, so the animals were a bit looser and there was more opportunity for her to "educate" rather than "be a traffic cop."
For the past couple of years the family has worn striped socks and blue on my birthday. This was The Girl's idea and it represents my two favorite animals: peacocks and okapis. I didn't know that there were peacocks in the Tropic Zone, but, as our educator explained, they usually don't come down when there are a lot of people present AND February is mating season, so today the male happened to be trying to catch the eye of one of the ladies.
This was my cosmic birthday gift. Had an okapi wandered past I would have had to assume that I'm destined for sainthood.
Regarding the peacock:
"She isn't interested in his performance." The educator
"Are there any other males?" Me
"No. We keep trying to explain that to her." The educator
"Ah." Me
"There is another female. He isn't interested in her, though. There is however a duck here that is smitten by her." The educator
"I'm glad that somebody appreciates her." Me
"Exactly." The educator
Everybody needs to feel valued. I certainly did today. The amount of time that went into my day is staggering. The Sister spent hours just making those hats...
The Boy made me a doll. With a detachable rainbow yarn wig. And really long arms made out of skewers and cotton balls. He said that I could put it on my bed.
And as if inspired to make me something that would help me remember the day, The Girl created this:
We will need to do double-math tomorrow, but I feel like we all learned a lot today. If nothing else, the reminder that living things -- Peacocks, ladies freezing in booths, moms -- need, and appreciate, attention.
