Certainly it would have been classier to take a picture of the pot au chocolat as it was presented at the restaurant. Candles. The city doing its citiness on the other side of the window. But a blurry picture of the remainders slopped around in the take home container is going to have to do.
When I was covertly investigating the idea of homeschooling I would strike up conversations with people to find out their opinions/ideas on the topic. There were comments gathered from that era that I think about frequently (some people I can't make eye-contact with because I know exactly what they think of homeschoolers...). One comment that has resonated was from a mom who had homeschooled for a couple of years, but had returned to the public school system.
"Why did you decide it wasn't working?" Me
"I didn't. I loved it." Her
"Did the kids not like it?"
"They liked it. We all loved it."
"So...?"
"My marriage. It wasn't good for my marriage. By the time my husband came home I was too exhausted to care about him. I would become furious if he made a comment about the household things that were being neglected, and I started to feel like I was carrying a disproportionate amount of the family's work. We stopped liking each other."
"Ah."
"If we had the financial means to hire people -- to clean the house, or transport the kids, or tutor more subjects -- we would have continued homeschooling. But since we didn't, I needed to think of my relationship with my husband."
My marriage. I, too, feel worn out. I get that dangerous feeling sometimes like EVERY bit of my being has been offered up for the family's consumption and there is very little validation/gratitude. We might have hit a low point when we were recently at an outing that The Dad was supposed to organize (though I had found the info and sent the link), and he had forgotten to bring real money (we are a debit card people)... After he struck a deal with the old man minding the cash box ("I have exactly $18.33, though we owe $20 -- will that be okay?"), I was like: seriously? All of the billions of details that I have to manage daily to keep the scheme running... and he couldn't remember to stop by the ATM? I actually said -- in a low voice accompanied by a slow, lizard-like blink: "I despise you." Now, that right there is some good education for the offspring.
Balance. Proportion.
We are lucky to have The Sister, so today I texted The Dad and suggested that after the kids went to bed we go down to the restaurant on the ground floor of our building and get dessert. It was nice. It was important.
