The Fordham University campus by Lincoln Center is smothered in scaffolding and shadowed by cranes, but the statue of Moses is still upstanding in the midst of all the chaos. A gift that is: "Dedicated to and in honor of the Catholics who helped Jews in the Holocaust."
The public school children are out of school today and tomorrow for Rosh Hashanah. This is a reason for living in NYC -- not for the extra days off for the Jewish holidays -- but because there are days off for the Jewish holidays. I'm glad that something that is sacred for many is acknowledged. For us, it provides an entry point... Having days off in the fall elicits questions -- like the crosses drawn on foreheads did a few Ash Wednesday's ago... I always feel a surge of respect for the Catholics who continue with their day knowing that the ashes pull people's eyes onto their faces and instantly broadcasts some of their most personal beliefs. And now I have a reciprocal surge when my children, unlike many adult tourists, don't even bat an eyelash when once a year we pass many besmudged foreheads.
The Dad went to school in Jerusalem for five months, and Great Neck, Long Island for four years, so he has been exposed to, learned a bit, and is very respectful of Judaism. It's much too broad of a sweep to say that those two things -- knowledge and respect -- always go hand in hand (I can think of a good many things that did NOT improve, or gain my respect upon further inspection), but... but often they do.
My background is different. About ten years ago my mother, while doing genealogy, discovered that her father's grandpa had come from Germany and was Jewish. A distant relative told her that he wasn't sure how or when or why the family stopped practicing (to the point of nobody in current generations even knowing they were Jewish?). He just remembers that there had always been Hebrew newspapers strewn about the house and Yiddish spoken frequently. This concept of tradition and even identity being broken touched my mom. She wanted to acknowledge something that was important to her ancestors and so set out to do so (note: for those who don't know her, my best sum-up is a third aunt from Arsenic and Old Lace). That year, my husband and I were gifted some chocolate coins and invited over on the first night of Hanukkah to see the newly purchased Menorah and watch as she, while referring often to her scrawled notes, lit her first candle. It was all very sweet. She served pork chops for dinner.
Considering how many good friends we have that are Jewish, I at least want my kids to know that you don't give a gift card to Virgina Country Hams for a bah mitzvah gift. The kids have such an opportunity here to do what my mom hoped -- learn and show respect for the Jewish traditions. In the past we've watched Fiddler on the Roof, we've ordered the Seder plate from Fresh Direct for Passover, we've dradled, we've gone to look at the Sukkot huts, and we've dunked apples in honey after reading a children's book on Rash Hashanah. (There are a lot of Jewish holidays.) My husband always shares what he learned and we've subsidized with some Wikipedia wisdom.
In the home schooling "plan" that I had to fill out and return there's a section labeled "Citizenship." Since being a good citizen means fulfilling responsibilities, and it is a responsibility to understand and in so doing support, and if necessary defend other good citizens, it made sense to me that we should step up our game a bit this year and build on the apples and honey snack.
I asked some families that we know what they do for the High Holidays, knowing that having friends' faces to associate with information would make it more meaningful for us. I really appreciate the responses that I received. One family asks the children to consider three things that they could have done better this past year, and three ways that they can treat people better in the coming year. Another shared with me some of the things that her daughter is learning at Hebrew school, and that led me on a path to find out more about Hebrew school... I am impressed that these young children spend time during the week focusing on self-improvement and charity towards others. Having had my ankles bashed in by scooters (and then both -- the ankle-bashers and the moms -- look at me as they pass as if I'm the jerk for being in the way, and just DARING me with their pursed eyes to say something), and having heard teenagers say the crudest things on the bus without any concept whatsoever of how that might be offensive to other passengers, I am inspired to learn that there are a lot of children out there consistently being reminded that striving to be better -- rather than feeling entitled -- is healthy for the soul.
On Monday nights Mormons have something called FHE (it's short for Family Home Evening, which is clearly a super-dorky name). We are encouraged to not schedule anything else on Mondays (or whatever day of the week the family chooses), so that it's clear that among all the other important things that go on in life, being with the family is something we value. We go over family business (schedules, reminders, etc.), say a prayer, sing a song (100% painful in our household), have a lesson, eat a snack, and do some sort of activity (often a board game, or a totally random game that is super hard to follow if one of the kids makes it up and changes the rules as we go along). Tonight I used the following as the foundation for the lesson from this website:
We celebrate Rosh Hashanah with sweet foods, like apples dipped in honey and honey cake, as a wish for a sweet year. Some families also celebrate with symbolic foods like the head of a fish, pomegranates, and carrots.
The head of a fish is so that we can be "like the head and not like the tail." This is a symbol of having a year in which we are on top and not the bottom...
We also eat carrots, and it isn't just to see better in the dark. For Ashkenazi Jews, carrots symbolize the Yiddish word "merren" which also means more. We want more of all the good things in life. More health, more happiness, more success. For Sephardic Jews, carrots are symbolic of the phrase "Yikaretu oyveychem" which means may your enemies be cut down. We ask that those who wish bad for us not get their wish, that they don't succeed.
Rosh Hashanah starts on the first day of Tishrei and lasts two days. Rosh Hashanah is the beginning of the Yamim Noraim, the ten days of atonement.
On Rosh Hashanah, all mankind is judged. HaShem writes the judgment for each of us in the Book of Life. This judgment is based on our lives of the year before, and is the decision of what will happen to us in the coming year.
But the judgment is not final. The days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur give us a time to change the judgment for good. We are given the chance to improve our coming year through Teshuvah (asking forgiveness), Tefillah (prayer), and Tzedakah (charity).
On Rosh Hashanah we wish each other "L'Shanah Tovah Tikatevuh" may you be written in for a good year. But Rosh HaShanah is not the end of the judgment, it is only on Yom Kippur that our judgment is made final.
For our song we skipped the hymn and listened to an old family favorite, Fish Heads. Perhaps not particularly reverent, but I can say that that song FINALLY has been given a purpose (other than being awesome). Nothing says, "We are on top!" like the lyrics, "I took a fish head out to see a mooovie / didn't have to pay to get it in."
On a more serious note, we chatted about how similar all of these Rosh Hashanah ideas are to things that we believe. We nibbled on apples and honey and carrots. We all wrote down things that we want to do better -- I told the kids that their thoughts on this could be private and they could even write in code... which they both did. Seriously?
We concluded the evening by cruising around YouTube and finding videos that had to do with Rosh Hashanah. The quantity (and for that matter quality) of Jewish entertainment has made me appreciate Dr. Pearl in Waiting for Guffman even more -- something I never thought possible (if you haven't seen that movie -- do yourself a favor). There was a fun Bollywood-esque video, and some thoughtful ones, and some pretty ones... The "Best Of" in our opinion that required two viewings was Soul Bigger. And here was a special surprise -- a guy that goes to our church, was in fact a nursery leader with me a year or so ago, donned a yamaka and is one of the dancers in the video. My kids were like: "What's Brother _____ doing?"
I almost said the bald truth, "Building a resume." Instead I opted for a more subtle truth, "Learning about Rosh Hashanah... by dancing."
May you be written in for a good year.
