(And thus concludes our end of phase one. I'm a blog-neophyte, but it seems that inherent to blogs is a linear, chronological style. A day unfolds, an event happens, a new skill or secret is discovered, and
it is documented and shared immediately. And then a new entry is born and that old one effortlessly slides into the regions of yesterday. Once
our school year starts, that is a formula that will work.
But before our school year starts, before the blog becomes a
machine, I wanted to somehow show how we arrived on this threshold. I wanted to explore the organic chaos
that existed first.
And so these first five entries were attempts at
reconstructing the beginning of my decision-process, before I even realized that a decision was on the horizon. With rambling sketches, an attempt to recreate the randomness, the self-analysis, the themes that looped back around, the
what if moments, the rationalizing, the encounters, the phrases that people said that felt true, the self-centeredness that buoyed me into thinking that I have something unique to
pass on, the dark pathos that comes to muck up such elation, and the hope that any mistake can maybe be unmade, because organic things usually just change -- they don't break.
Before there’s an egg, there are just the elements –
proteins and minerals that line up, that come together.
What came first?
The chicken or the egg? The
answer I heard that I appreciate for its succinctness is that it had to be the
chicken, as an egg is just a probable chicken. Something realized is worth discussing, while probabilities… well,
there are just too many of them that float around in the soup of our existence
to give them much thought or energy.
So a little egg formed, was even decorated... and it very well might have stayed as a lovely little "maybe someday...," but when held up to the light we saw that there was something alive in there... so hatch it did... On to phase two.)
